Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother

 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.   Exodus 20:12

   Rick and I will be married thirty seven years next month.  We have lived close to his family and worked with them all of our married life.  I have watched this commandment in action all these years, but never as much as the last few months.  Rick, and many of his family, are demonstrating what this commandment really means.

    Last summer we witnessed the slow decline of his parents.  Up to that point, they seemed to be the picture of health.  The two of them ran a successful business.  Rick's father invented a tool and a few other items that they made and sold on a regular basis.  At the age of 87 and 84, the two of them were quite independent, yet dependent at the same time.  Many of the required tasks had become too hard for Rick's father, so the sons took care of the job.  Rick's mother continued to help full time with tool production, as well as the bookkeeping. 

     We could see it was getting to be too much for his mom, and her back was giving her fits.  Yet, she continued to work like a woman twenty years younger.  Last August, the pain took over and she was relegated to her couch.  We were gone for three weeks on a trip and upon our return, we wondered who took his mother and who was this imposter?  Her physical decline in three short weeks was frightening.

    One morning in an attempt to help herself, she slipped and fell, breaking her hip.  Within twenty four hours she was in surgery.  The doctor recommended rehabilitation facility.  As hard as it was for Rick's parents to move into the center, they accepted it as their lot in life.  Rick's family was amazing in their support of their parents.  From the rehab center, they moved quite willingly to an assisted living home.  The siblings pulled together as they helped them move, get settled and clean out their former home. 

    Rick's mother suffers from Alzheimer's and his father has dementia.  Anger can arise at any given moment with his father.  I know, I have been on the receiving end of it.  For this reason, the best way I can honor him is to allow Rick to do what ever is needed for them, and for me to help when needed.  So most of the time I am in the background supporting my husband by listening.  I have given them rides to appointments, church and meetings when Rick is unable to go.  I have learned to hold my tongue when need be.  This is my way to keep this commandment.  And I do it with love, compassion and kindness for several reasons.  First, it is just easier to avoid a confrontation.  Second, God has commanded that I honor him.  When I married into the family he became my father as well.  Third, it is the right thing to do.  He has worked hard his entire life and I must respect him, my elder.  His brain isn't functioning properly, so therefore I cannot hold him responsible for everything that he utters.

     Honor thy father and thy mother.  Some days it is really hard and some days it is a joy.  But no one ever said life was going to be an easy walk.  I just know it's worth it.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Friendship

First off, let me apologize for letting you down yesterday.  I promised to post a new thought each day during lent, and I failed to do that yesterday.  Each day I pray for inspiration.  Yesterday I had a hard time grasping an idea.  I tried to write late in the afternoon, but I found the creative juices dry up at that time of day.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Today I feel especially blessed.  I have been pondering on this verse.  A friend loves at all times.  At this time of the year I think of my BFFs.  For those unfamiliar with the abbreviation, it stands for 'best friend forever'.  And I made mine plural because I am surrounded by many such people.  How can a person have more than one best friend?

First and foremost, I have a someone who is with me 24/7.  I often find myself having a conversation all day long.  I can tell my someone anything on my mind or in my heart.  I complain, make requests, praise and most of all worship this friend.  How wonderful it is to have a companion all day and  night!  I know everything I tell will never be revealed.  My friend is the first one I think of when I wake up and the last one before I fall asleep.  I imagine you have figured this one out, my friend is Jesus.

Another best friend has been with me for thirty-eight years.  We met on his birthday and my true personality was not hidden from his view.  He must have liked what he saw because before the night was over we had a date.  But that is another story for another day.  Two years later we were married and he has been there for me ever since.  To let you think it has been rosy all the time, well,  that would be misleading.  But  over time our relationship has grown stronger and  it's nice to look back over thirty-seven years and the experiences we have shared.

I am also blessed with a group of women  I like to call my besties.  There are seven of us and we gather once a summer to have a slumber-less party.   We are all old enough to be grandmothers, and some of us have the privilege of belonging to that club.   But when the seven of us gather for one or two nights, we turn back into junior high girlfriends.  We tell stories and giggle half the night.  But we are much more than that.  We love at all times.  We have raised our children together.  We had overnights, camping trips, day gatherings with sometimes as many as two dozen youngsters.  We have a bond that goes much deeper still.  Our faith is the glue the cements our friendship.  We support each other in prayer and there has been plenty of opportunities to fulfill that pledge to each other.  I know if I need anyone for a shoulder to lean on, cry on, a buddy to laugh with and most importantly a friend to pray with I can call one of these gals and I will not be alone.

I have sisters, sister-in-laws, sisters in kind, sisters in Christ, aunts, cousins and neighbors, all who I feel I can call friends.  What a blessing that is to me.  And I know there are more friends I haven't met, more kindred spirits to keep in my heart.

And as for the second part of the verse, brothers are for adversity, well maybe when I was growing up.  My brothers and I did fight, but they were also my playmates, my first friends.  I have eight brothers and I consider all of them, along with their wives, my friends.  So I don't think that part holds as much truth for me.  My family helped make me into the person I am today.