How to take a bath...

Sunday was a long day.  We had attended Mass on Saturday afternoon instead of our usual Sunday morning.  We were both up bright and early so Rick could head to Missouri to visit our daughter.  He had decided I am trustworthy and could leave me on my own.  I have really graduated to independence.

I had visitors late morning.  During the conversation we discussed bathing and the process for me. 
"Shall I blog about it?" I inquired with a smirk.
Her answer hit my ears in spite of her giggles, "Sure, why not?"
For those who are modest, you may wish to close your eyes.

Step 1.  Remove the inert object from the couch.  (That would be me.)  This involved putting the black boot on (to protect my delicate parts from any bumps), adding a shoe and sock to my 'good' foot (to prevent slipping),  and grabbing a crutch.  Why only one?  To grab TLC, renamed Nellie, and then to steady myself as I went from reclined to upright.  Nellie was in position, brake on and I saddle up.  Knee in place, hand brake released and I'm off to the bathroom.


Step 2.  Once Nellie and I are in the necessary room, I again apply the hand brake. "Whoa! Nellie." This keeps her in place while I dismount.  I resemble a flamingo as I steady myself with my boot resting on the bottom of the throne until I sit.  (Close you eyes).  I remove the boot first, so it is easier to remove the clothing on the left leg.  Once that is done, the boot goes back to it's appointed spot, my left foot.  I think I will name my left foot, Lucie, for ease and from now on, my right foot is Rosie. Once Lucie is covered, it is easier to take care of Rosie and everything else.  It's not long and I'm ready for the plunge.  But first I must prepare my environment.

Step 3:  With the heater keeping the bathroom toasty warm, I  assemble everything needed for this project to be a success:  Towels, bathmats, cleaning junk.  Now, depending on the size of the anatomy a towel, bathmat or washcloth is placed on the tub edge.  This is where I will sit before I can enter the tub.  I'm not telling which terry cloth item I use, it's best to leave it to your imagination.  This step is not necessary, but  let me tell you this:  Cast Iron Tubs Are Cold IF YOU DON"T.  Hang all towels within easy reach.

Step 4. 
The Plunge. First I turn on the water and then I place my right arm on the far edge of the tub, rotate my body until I am parallel with the super sized basin, still sitting on the side.  I swing Rosie and my leg follows and I place it in the tub.  Meanwhile, Lucie positions on the side as I lower the remaining body part into the mini waterfalls at my head.  I lay my back on the floor of the tub as the cascading water rinses my hair.  I do a sit up each time I need shampoo, conditioner or soap.  It actually works very well.  Once my hair has had it's final rinse, I shut off the running water and continue to bath as usual, with Lucie hanging outside the tub. 

Final Step.
When it's time I reverse the process.  Again, the right hand grasps the side, left hand on the opposite edge, stand on Rosie as I raise myself up, out and to the terrycloth still residing on the tub. (thought I was gonna let it slip which one I used, didn't you?)  Once I am steady, I grab the towels placed within reach.  First hand towel is placed on the toilet seat (the lid was closed first) and I move to the larger location.  This is where I am grateful for a small room.  Everything is so close together.  I am able to finish towel drying from my perch.  I remove the big black boot, hereby dubbed, BBB, to enable easy dressing, replace BBB and continue as normal.  It is not long before I apply the brake to Nellie, mount my trusty steed so I can go to the next project on my list.

Bath and Shampoo. Check.

And now you know.